Why Fighting Harder Doesn’t Work

Have you ever noticed that when you start anything new, everything feels awkward at first? When you first start playing a sport, not all motions feel natural. Some feel downright weird — sometimes almost wrong.

My husband and son both do jiu jitsu. Over the past few months I’ve watched my son learn a submission called a triangle. It involves throwing your legs over someone’s head, turning your body and feet, and then choking someone with your legs – not normal! When he first started learning, it was awkward, slow, and not great. But after doing reps over and over again, he became fast, smooth, and very good.

The other day I realized I am doing spiritual jiu jitsu. Over the past few months God has been teaching me to become dependent — to live daily in relational covenant with Him. Guess what? It doesn’t feel normal to me.

What feels normal is independence.

The other day we were having an issue with scheduling and employees for one of our businesses, and what came out of my mouth was: “We’ll just figure it out.”

God whispered to me at that moment: “Stop fighting — I’ve already figured it out.”

I realized I’m learning something new — dependence.

And right now, I’m like my son learning a new move: awkward, slow, and not great. I don’t have the reps. In this season, God is asking me to slow down and get the reps — to learn how to stop fighting for myself, to stop being independent, and to cry out to Him to fight for me, to be dependent on Him, and to let Him be my protector and provider.

Maybe you’re better at it than me, but my suspicion is most of us have more reps in independence than dependence. It’s the culture we live in — and the reason many of us became business owners.

I want to share with you some things I’ve been learning from Psalm 46. It’s a psalm that has spoken deeply to me in this season.

Psalm 46:10–11 (in the CJB — verses 9–10 in many versions) says:

To the ends of the earth he makes wars cease.
He breaks the bow, He snaps the spear.
He burns the shields in the fire.

Desist, and learn that I am God.
Supreme over the nations.
Supreme over the earth.

You may have heard “Be still and know that I am God” many times in your life. You’ve seen it on wall hangings or heard it taught. But it’s so much deeper to me now than ever before.

Let’s start with the verse above it:

“To the ends of the earth he makes wars cease.”

Cease comes from the Hebrew word שָׁבַת (shāḇaṯ), the same root as Shabbat, meaning “to put down, to rest.”

War comes from the Hebrew word מִלְחָמָה (milḥāmāh), which means “to fight.” Its root לָחַם (lāḥam) (“to fight”) shares the same root as לֶחֶם (leḥem) (“bread”). In Hebrew thought, fighting and feeding were connected — battles were about survival and provision.

As humans, we fight and strive for our own protection and provision. It’s why our income through business and jobs is so important to us. It’s our modern version of survival — fighting for ourselves.

But God says in this verse: “I make that fight cease.”
Why? Because He alone is our protection and provision.

Then it says: “He breaks the bow, He snaps the spear.”

The bow was a symbol of human power and protection from long-range threats. The spear symbolized our human power against short-range threats.

We still try to protect ourselves from both.

Think about it — isn’t that what 401k, insurance, and job security are all about? I’m not saying those things are wrong, but they easily become our bows and spears.

And here, God says He breaks them. He snaps them. Both words mean cutting in pieces — making them unusable. It’s literally God taking our power away.

But that’s not all.

“He burns the shields in the fire.”

Some translations say chariots instead of shields. Either way, it’s the vehicle for war. It symbolizes our systems and structures. And God says: “I burn them in the fire.”

But remember — fire is purifying and transforming.

God isn’t destroying our strength to leave us powerless. He’s purifying us so we’ll stop relying on our fight and start trusting His.

Then comes the most beautiful part:

“Desist, and learn that I am God.”

Desist (רָפָה (rāphāh)) means to cease.

Stop fighting!

And learn (יָדַע (yāda‘)) means relational knowing — a deep, intimate trust.

Stop fighting, and learn that the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is God.

He is the one that fights for us.
He is the one that wins our battles.
He is the one we must cling to and depend on!

He is the one that rules over every person and every thing on this earth.

So why are we fighting instead of crying out to the One who rules it all — the One who wants to fight for us?

This isn’t a call to do nothing.
It’s a call to participate — but through dependence on the power of our Lord and Savior.

That means in business and life, becoming dependent on Him, not on ourselves.

When your finances are low — let Him fight for you.
When your decisions are hard — let Him fight for you.
When relationships are strained — let Him fight for you.

Let Him give you the heavenly strategies and supernatural power to do the assignment He has given you.

There is freedom and victory in dependence on our covenant Head.

Today, as you walk through big and small things in your business and your life, practice being dependent on Him.

It might feel awkward, slow, and like you aren’t good at it at first. But ask God for help — and keep practicing dependence.