Where’s Your Ladder Leaning

Have you ever seen a ladder leaning on more than one thing?

I don’t know that I have… but I can’t imagine it would be very stable.

This morning while I was reading and praying, I had this picture in my mind of a ladder sitting in a corner—leaning against two different walls.

That’s what my life has looked like.

My ladder hasn’t just been leaning against God.
It’s been leaning against God and something else.

My husband.
A job.
My gifts.
A business partner.

I seem to always be looking for something else to help “hold me up.”

And when life starts to feel unstable, I don’t always turn to God first—

I start looking for another wall.

Something else to steady me.

And I don’t think I am the only one that does this...

I’ve been reading through 1&2 Samuel and into 1 Kings, and I keep seeing the same pattern:

People are constantly faced with a choice.

Where will their dependence rest?

At the beginning, many leaders don’t even want the assignment.
They know they need God.

Saul hides.
He’s afraid.
“Why me? I’m the least?”

Solomon says, “I’m just a child. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

There’s this posture of dependence.

But then something shifts.

They’re shown their gifts.
Given authority.
Given success.
Given the kingdom.

And slowly… they start building systems to hold onto it.

It goes from:
“I can’t do this without God…”
to:
“I need to make sure I never lose this.”

I see too much of that in myself.

Our fear of losing what we want or what God gives us
makes us lean our ladder against other walls.

We say we trust God…
but we still lean on something else.

But here’s the part I’m just starting to understand:

I often don’t want to lean fully on Him…
because that means I don’t get to control what happens.

No backup plan.
No second wall.
No “just in case.”

Just Him.

And that would mean I really have to trust Him—
whether I like what is happening or not.

But here’s the truth God is vividly showing me:

Everything I have… came from Him.

I didn’t build it on my own.
I didn’t secure it on my own.

And yet, I hesitate to lean fully on the very One who everything flows from.

So I keep adjusting the ladder.

Just a little.

Leaning part of it on something else.
Just enough to feel safe.

A pastor at our church said something recently that stuck with me.

He said his constant prayer is:

“If you want anything done here, it’s going to have to be you God—because I can’t. But you can.”

I don’t know about you… but I forget that prayer.

I forget it when things are going well.
And I forget it when things feel like they’re falling apart.

In both seasons, it’s easy to reach for another wall.

What would it look like to actually pray that… and mean it?

To lean your whole ladder on God?

Not mostly.
Not with something else quietly holding part of the weight.

Fully.

I believe God will put us in places where it’s hard not to depend on Him.

Places like the wilderness—where you become so desperate,
it becomes harder not to turn to Him.

I don’t think those seasons are punishment.
I think they’re a gift.

A training ground where we learn to lean on Him.

But I’m learning…

There is something incredibly freeing
about coming to the end of yourself.

About realizing you were never in control to begin with.

God is.
And always has been.

And His love and grace for us is so much bigger than we realize.
He truly desires what is best for you.

And we can trust Him.

And when that really sinks in…

something shifts.

You stop gripping so tightly.
You stop trying to control everything.
You stop looking for other walls.

Because the freedom we’re chasing
was never going to come from control.

It comes from letting God be God.

And finally…

letting your ladder lean fully on Him.