When Discipline Becomes a Trap

I was sitting there praying one morning, looking at our life and businesses, feeling like it wasn’t working. And I mean not in any way. Our bank account was low, our credit cards were high, I was exhausted, and I had no peace. I’d been sinking in depression for months.

And yet as I sat there pleading with God to “fix” all the things that were wrong in our life, I heard one phrase…

“You are obsessed with outcomes.”

And the truth is, I was. I wanted the businesses to work, so the money flowed, so that what… I could buy the things I wanted?

I was so focused on things happening the way I wanted them to, and I was relying on the crutch of discipline.

Now if you’re an entrepreneur or a high achiever, you’re probably thinking, Hold on there, discipline is the thing. The Bible talks about discipline:

Proverbs 13:18 says,

"Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored."

When we live disciplined lives, good things can happen.

Even Jocko Willink made it popular by saying, “Discipline equals freedom.”

But here’s what I’ve been learning:

Discipline is great, but the motivation behind discipline is what matters.

Truth: I was using transactional discipline.

We’re taught in western society (and in business especially) transactional discipline. And here’s what that means:

It means if I work out three times a week and stick to my eating plan… I’ll look the way I want.
If I focus on my job or business and put in the long hours… I’ll advance in my career or my business will succeed.

It’s full of if–then statements. If I do this, then that will happen. For all intents and purposes, it’s transactional.

But what if discipline isn’t about a transaction, but a relationship?

What if it’s about being obedient above anything else?

As a parent, if I ask my son to do something, I expect him to obey. Why? Because that’s the relationship. Even if he doesn’t understand why, I expect him to do it.

Now, to the best of my ability, I ask him to do things that will benefit him:

• I ask him not to eat junk food.

• I ask him to get off the couch and be active.

• I ask him to focus on learning things that will help him in life.
  

But what I don’t do is say, “If you obey, I’ll give you exactly what you want right now.”

That’s not Biblical parenting.

So what if discipline is about our relationship with God?

What if it’s about obedience? Why? Because our relationship with God demands it in a loving way. We want to obey, because we know and trust that what He asks us to do is best…

Even if we don’t get what we want immediately — or ever.

What if we truly believed that what He has for us is exactly what we need, and we aligned our hearts with His desires instead of expecting Him to align with ours?

I was reading Psalm 44:4 CJB (verse 3 in many translations):

“For not by their own swords did they conquer the land,
nor did their own arm give them victory;
rather, it was Your right hand, Your arm and the light of Your face,
because You favored them.”

This is about how the Hebrew people — God’s covenant people — were led into the Promised Land. They didn’t earn the land. They didn’t buy the land. They didn’t take it by their own strength or power.

God gave it to them, and they knew it.
It was a gift — not based on what they did, but who they belonged to.

But this is a foreign concept to us.

We think of discipline and hard work as strategies for success and ways to get what we want.

But discipline is not a strategy for success.
It’s a pathway to deepen our relationship with our Lord and Savior.

This doesn’t mean passivity. God often required His people to walk around the walls of Jericho or to step into battles. So yes, we participate. But we reject independence.

It’s about obedience over outcome.

And yes, discipline often does come before blessing.

But let’s not be confused:

Discipline doesn’t produce blessings… it postures you for them.

And the outcome — what those blessings look like — will always be up to God. They may not look like your desires. But they will always look like what He knows is best for you.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the past year:

If I live with transactional discipline and transactional obedience — doing the things I think will get me the results I want — it leads to:

• Burnout of my assignment

• Doubting my assignment

• Doubting God’s voice

• Loss of His joy and peace

• And ultimately being tempted to (or actually) walk away from my assignment.
  

But with one shift in mindset, everything changes.

Your bank account in that moment might look the same.
The struggles might still look the same.

But YOU change.

Your soul changes.
You find joy in the things you’re asked to do.
You find hope in the waiting.

Because you know that obedience is deepening your relationship with your God. You begin to trust — maybe for the first time — that He really is fighting for you, and the outcome will be good in His time.

You stop thinking that if the outcome doesn’t look how you want, you must have failed.

We stop confusing faithfulness with fruitfulness.
We remember that the real reward is our God — not the results of our work.
We remember obedience is about trust, not transactions.

And in that place, we find joy.
We find hope.
We find peace.
We find our God.

If you’re in a season of transactional discipline — grinding, hustling, pushing, but nothing’s changing — maybe the greatest change God wants to bring is not in your results, but in you.

If you’ve been grinding and feel stuck, don’t walk away. Shift from transactional discipline to covenant obedience — and let God change you first.

Because in the end, discipline isn’t about outcomes. It’s about obedience. And that’s where real freedom is found.