The Deepest Formation

It's no secret we all go through challenging seasons.

Whether you are an entrepreneur, leader, business owner, or none of those things, we will all face challenging seasons.

I once heard a coach say,
“Don’t ask God to get out of hard seasons,
Ask God what you can get from those seasons.”

That was profound to me at the time. I am someone who likes to skip through hard seasons. I have shared this before—I like to see the ending.

But here is what God is teaching me: I think there is an even deeper layer to formation than what that coach was talking about.

Asking to get out of challenging seasons looks at the circumstances around you.
It looks outward at everything happening around you.

Getting something from a hard season looks at what's happening inside you.
It looks inward at yourself.

But I think the layer we so often miss is looking upward.
Looking to who God is during those seasons.
Learning His character.

Because what if the deepest thing happening in a hard season isn't what God is doing around you?

And it isn't even what God is doing in you?
What if it's what God is revealing about Himself?

The Bible talks about fixing our eyes on Him.

And what if the seasons we most want to escape are the very seasons that show us who He is?

What if formation is less about who we are becoming and more about who we are learning to love?

At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I walked through an incredibly difficult season.

We experienced years of miscarriages and child loss.

If you haven't walked through that, you may not know that miscarriage and child loss dramatically increase divorce rates.

On top of that, our son was born at just 26 weeks.

Having a premature baby also places enormous strain on a marriage.

But through that season, one thing that happened that I would have never expected is God allowed my husband and I to learn more about each other than we ever would have learned had we not walked that road.

In fact, early in our marriage people often told us:
"You two seem like you've been married much longer than you have."

Why?

I think it’s because of what difficult seasons reveal.
They often either push a relationship apart or draw it closer together.

Those seasons create opportunities to trust, comfort, and understand each other. It deepens your relationship in ways that easy seasons never do.

And if that is true on a human level…

How much more is it true with God?

God has been teaching me a lot about wilderness formation lately. How it may be way more valuable than I ever imagined. 

The Hebrew word for wilderness, midbar, comes from the same root as the word for speaking. The wilderness is where God speaks. (You can read more about that HERE)

But maybe the most important thing He speaks to us in the wilderness is…who He is.
Maybe the wilderness is where we learn His character.
Maybe it's where we learn His love.

I have been reading through the book of Isaiah, and I noticed the same pattern there.

In Isaiah 43, Israel is living in captivity.
They have lost everything.
They are living through their own wilderness season.
And this is what God says:

"Don't be afraid, for I have redeemed you;
I am calling you by your name; you are mine.
When you pass through water, I will be with you;
When you pass through rivers, they will not overwhelm you;
When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched—
the flame will not burn you."

What I noticed about this passage is what God doesn't say.

He doesn't say He will remove the waters.
He doesn't say He will remove the fire.

He says:
"I will be with you."

In the middle of their hardest season, God reminds them who they belong to.

You are mine.

And then He reminds them who He is.

I will be with you.

That is His answer.
Not an explanation.
Not a timeline.

His presence.

And I wonder how often we miss that.

How often am I asking God to remove the season?
Or trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to learn from it?

While God is inviting me to know Him more deeply through it.

To learn that He really is faithful.
That He really is present.
That He really is patient.
That He really does love me.

Not because someone told me those things were true.
But because I experienced them for myself.

So often we project human characteristics onto God.

We imagine He is fickle.
We imagine His patience eventually runs out.
We imagine His love depends on our performance.

But those are human characteristics.
Those are wounds, experiences, and assumptions we place on Him.

That is not who He is.

And I am beginning to believe that challenging seasons often exist to shatter those illusions.

To reveal who God really is.

And He is none of those things.

He is the faithful Father.
The One who waits.
The One who comforts.
The One who walks with us through the fire instead of abandoning us to it.

So if you are walking through a difficult season right now, remember this:

Maybe the greatest gift hidden inside that season isn't what God is teaching you about yourself.
Maybe it's what He is revealing to you about Himself.

Keep your eyes on Him.
He is walking right next to you.

And maybe you will leave this season knowing your God more intimately than you ever thought possible.

And that might just be the greatest gift we could ask for.